Restoration After Loss

Standing out to me in the book of Joel is restoration. As I pondered the word…restoration…this thought came to me: for something to be restored, it first has to be broken. Ha. Broken. That sounds like fun right? No. No it doesn’t….at least not to me. Not in the moment!

Have you experienced broken things? I know I have. Things don't always go the way we want them to. It’s a painful place to be sometimes.

I found myself in a broken place in December. My sister got married and moved out of the apartment in our back yard, two weeks later, my youngest daughter moved out of our house into that apartment, my son moved out, I was in a car accident (fault of the other driver) that totaled my car I dearly loved, and, in the midst of it all, I was walking through some relational growing pains with my good friend.

Each thing, by itself, was small. Everything happening at the same time felt huge. Though it wasn’t true, I felt like I had lost everything that brought me joy.

Joel 1:4,12,20 describes my perception of it: “After the cutting locusts finished eating the crops, the swarming locusts took what was left! After them came the hopping locusts, and then the stripping locusts, too! The grapevines have dried up, and the fig trees have withered. The pomegranate trees, palm trees, and apple trees—all the fruit trees—have dried up. And the people’s joy has dried up with them. Even the wild animals cry out to you because the streams have dried up, and fire has consumed the wilderness pastures.”

Sometimes we find ourselves in this place of desperation, so what do we do when brokenness happens?

“That is why the Lord says,’Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Don't tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.’ Return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish. Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve, sending you a blessing instead of this curse. Perhaps you will be able to offer grain and wine to the Lord your God as before.” Joel 2:12-14

During this process, I started to do some serious self-examination. I asked God questions: Where are You in this? What do I need to know? In spite of everything I feel, what is the truth?

I asked myself questions: Have I made idols out of these things? Where is my heart in all of this? What do I believe about others? What do I believe about God? What do I believe about myself?

I started trying to believe and hold onto this truth: “God’s heart towards me is good. He has good plans for me. My life has meaning and purpose. He is for me.”

I owned, to God and to others, my part, made amends where I could, grieved the loss of things that weren’t because of any wrong doing on my part, and turned my eyes to God, trusting Him with outcomes.

Today, relationships with my kids and my sister are closer, relationship with my friend is repaired, just different,  and I have another car…still beastly…just not the one I loved. The outcome looks different than what I thought I wanted…some things feel better, some things feel like loss; nevertheless, I trust Him.

“Don’t be afraid, O land. Be glad now and rejoice, for the Lord has done great things. Don’t be afraid, you animals of the field, for the wilderness pastures will soon be green. The trees will again be filled with fruit; fig trees and grapevines will be loaded down once more.” “The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts….” Joel 2:22,25

God is faithful to do what He says He will do. It’s our job to trust Him. :)